One Week Already?

there are several reasons why i have not updated the blog this week. i can't even begin to explain the emotions i've been through from the moment our flight ended until now. it's been exactly one week since we brought echo home. exactly one week since we reunited with our our children and our family and friends....one week. so why does it feel like such a haze? shouldn't i be feeling normal at this point? why is my head so cloudy? maybe it's the antibiotic i'm on from the sinus infection i got over the last week, maybe it's the jet lag, maybe is keeping up with 8 legs moving around me, 8 hands reaching for me, 8 eyes watching me, begging for my attention. maybe it's the fact that there is so much to take in that i can't focus on one thing right now. it's dizzying.

let me try to back up. the flight home from tokyo was great, echo took a nap, ate dinner, played and went to bed. she slept for 8 hours. awesome. luckily, with all heath's frequent flyer miles, we had first class so the seat laid all the way back and i was able to sleep a bit also. at one point, echo was literally wrapped around my head. it was hysterical. love that crazy little girl. we landed, went through customs in record timing and met up with the best crowd of friends and family that we could have asked for. we were greeted with smiles, hugs, gifts, congrats, welcome home signs. one friend even brought us sweet tea and a latte. yep, all we could have asked for! afterwards our family came to our house and we all had burritos. ahhhhhh, Willy's, how i love thee, let me count the ways....

monday, heath stayed home from work, we went and did passport stuff for echo. we have to get her passport expedited. for those of you who don't know, we are moving to london in the very near future. heath has an office over there and we've found a flat. we were waiting to get our girl and then we could finalize the move. it's a crazy life right now. this was the first day out with all four of the kids and it really seemed pretty normal. normal. don't make me laugh.

tuesday, the kids had a doctor's appointment. 5 year check up and shots with reese and maddox, 3 year check up and shots for zane, ear check for echo. echo's ears are completely blocked with wax so they had to do a flush. let me tell you, there was a lot of crying that day between the 5 of us. mainly echo and me. having to hold each one down as they were shot, scraped, poked and flushed...mentally, physically, emotionally exhausting. what a way to start my first day back without heath, right. in with a bang!

wednesday is when i couldn't even swallow because my throat hurt so bad. i forget what all happened that day. pain.

thursday i went to the doctor for myself to learn that i had a sinus infection and then took echo back for a second check up at her pediatrician's. we were able to meet up with the pediatrician that has helped us all along. she is a family friend through the wilson's and has known them for years. she has treated me like family all the way through this. she was the one we emailed and called until 2 am the night we received echo's file back in january. it was really amazing to see her face as she entered the room and saw echo face to face. our eyes welled up with tears. she had helped us make one of the biggest decisions of our lives. my gratitude is endless for this doctor, this friend.

friday....what was friday? i had a dear friend come to visit, my children stayed in their pajamas all day, we had heath's brother and family over that evening for a bit and then we crashed. hard. actually, every night we've crashed hard. really hard.

even as i type now, i'm just brain dead. and my head still aches. i can't pull it together and get myself out of this sinus pressure.


many of you have asked if it's more difficult now with four, or having echo home, or having her adjust....the answer is yes and no. it was already really busy and very chaotic at times, now i just have an extra little one in the mix. another little mouth to feed, another little one to hold and kiss boo boos away. i have another set of schedules to follow, another child who naps, diapers to change, another child to chase. difficult? yes and no. and she has adjusted beautifully, effortlessly, amazingly. she was meant to be in a family our size. she adores her siblings, laughs at them, with them, for them, to them. they adore her too. it was all meant to be this way. i think i'm surprised at how uneventful it's all been. she just slid right into our family. under the radar almost. it's weird. hard to explain.

for those of you who've seen us together, you know. it's nothing amazing to see, it's normal. she does her thing and we do ours. she is a regular little part of our family. after only a week of being here in the states. i love it.

to our friends and family who have helped to support us, feed us, sent gifts, sent love, sent prayers, made phone calls, emails, letters, cards....to those of you who wanted to call or write or email but wanted to give us space...to kerri and mike who organized dinners and gave up your saturday to host a welcome home party, to the people who've written that i don't even know who you are and to the random lady at Yogli Mogli, when i thought you were giving me a look of pitty with my four children. i thought you saw me as a haggard mom. i thought you were going to say something cross to me, when really all you wanted to say was "you have a very beautiful family, God bless you"......thank you. thank you for pulling me through this week. it's been as easy as it's been because of you. i mean that. i really do. you carried me through this week. you allowed me to be less stressed and more sane. thank you.

we are home.